“I had at last squeezed through with great difficulty almost to the entrance of the Temple, from which the Life-Giving Tree of the Cross was being shown to the people. But when I trod on the doorstep which everyone passed, I was stopped by some force which prevented my entering. Meanwhile I was brushed aside by the crowd and found myself standing alone in the porch.”
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“Then I realized that it was my sins that prevented me from seeing the Life-Creating Wood. The Grace of the Lord then touched my heart. I wept and lamented, and I began to beat my breast. Sighing from the depths of my heart, I saw above me an Icon of the Most Holy Theotokos. Turning to her, I Prayed: “O Lady Virgin, who gave birth in the flesh to God the Word! I know that I am unworthy to look upon your Icon. I rightly inspire hatred and disgust before your Purity, but I know also that God became Man in order to call sinners to repentance. Help me, O All-Pure one. Let me enter the Church. Allow me to behold the Wood upon which the Lord was Crucified in the flesh, shedding His Blood for the redemption of sinners, and also for me. Be my witness before your Son that I will never defile my body again with the impurity of fornication. As soon as I have seen the Cross of your Son, I will renounce the world, and go wherever you lead me.”
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“Having got as far as the doors which I could not reach before – as if the same force which had hindered me cleared the way for me – I now entered without difficulty and found myself within the Holy place. And so it was I saw the Life-Giving Cross. I saw too the Mysteries of God and how the Lord accepts repentance. Throwing myself on the ground, I worshipped that Holy earth and kissed it with trembling.”
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“Then I came out of the Church and went to her who had promised to be my security, to the place where I had sealed my vow. And bending my knees before the Virgin Mother of God, I addressed her with these words: ‘O loving Lady, thou hast shown me thy great love for all men. Glory to God Who receives the repentance of sinners through thee. What more can I recollect or say, I who am so sinful? It is time for me, O Lady to fulfil my vow, according to thy witness. Now lead me by the hand along the path of repentance!’ And at these words I heard a voice from on high: ‘If you cross the Jordan you will find glorious rest.’ Hearing this voice and having faith that it was for me, I cried to the Mother of God: ‘O Lady, Lady, do not forsake me!’ With these words I left the porch of the Church and set off on my journey.”
